So this brand new blog is already all F-ed up... I wanted to call it sayanasana which is a pose I like bcs it sounds like my name {and it's really hard, arm balance on the elbows!}....well true to form, these days...I spelled it wrong. Sayasana either means proper diet or proper relaxation, these things I know NOTHING about. In fact I'm not really comfortable with the word "proper" ick.

i've decided to run with it bcs it's funny, and i need a place to gripe. Dig?

Anyway here goes...I'm feeling like a fraud these days. Depressed, on edge, self abusive...
and as a yoga teacher it's hard to show people how to feel better on the inside when I feel like a big sucky hole.

A student, I call him this laughingly bcs he kicks my ass on & off the mat, says Yoga is like a tree, even if you don't notice change...its always growing.

I may have Dutch Elm disease.

Symptoms: I don't practice enough, I keep accidently injuring myself, I feel dead inside, my outsides are bloated, crusty, peely,unkempt and pimply, I'm untalented, self critical, and irritating to most of those around me for too long.

AND I TEACH YOGA FOR A LIVING.........HA!
how the f did this happen? Stupid question...I know how it happened. But now I feel like I'm waiting for someone to say, " The gig is up!"
I need professional validation in a job where detachment is a requirement.
I'm attached and jealous and insecure and....WAH!

well, whatever.