I didn't know Sean that well, but I wanted to. He was a good friend of some of my girls in SD and I had practiced next to him a few times at Tim's. This is the saddest thing I have heard. Freeway accident. I'm so sorry for everyone who knew Sean, and to those, like me, who admired his practice and would've liked the chance to know him better.

This is just so sad.

namaste'

I have $150 left in the bank.............................And I'm almost done shopping. Man, the stress of shopping and driving this year is like really bad crack. I took off last week to play with Sasha up in Davis, which was delightful until I woke up the morning of my departure with a particularly explosive version of the stomach flu. TC literally leapt out of the bathroom for me a few times. Fortunately, well for me, they had all had this flu so they were knowledgeable and compassionate, which is nice when spewing noxious substances. I made it home and am back in the saddle, plan to practice at Tim's tomorrow. Yeah!

My poor Tom is beleaguered. The business is ech and I am just hoping for a change in his fortune. The oddest thing I've learned about being with someone for this long {almost 4 years!} is how much more their bad news is really your bad news. Granted, he doesn't do what I say...but I wish he'd just get a break....it hurts to see him struggle.

Yoga felt so good tonight. I had only practiced once on my trip, a little self practice and some show-off to Sasha....I likes to show my buds the tricks...before I was laid out by the evil purge. But as "emily" says in The Devil Wears Prada" , "I'm only one stomach flu away from my ideal weight." I felt very spacious and open today, nothing hurt...not even the old sore spot on the piriformous. So we'll see what a true studio practice does with all the extra vata. I actually got "stuck" in a handstand today. That hardly ever happens.

Well good luck to you all on your Holiday Hustle, may you all get the spot, the sale, the smile you're after.

happy birthday to me!!!! well yesterday that is. I did make it to practice and had a wonderful time, except I bent my thumb back while using it for leverage in hanumanasana {splits to you yoga-phobes} and apparently my hips were tighter than my thumb is strong. Still got to do all the tricks, yeah! but surfing was out bcs you really need yer hands, man. Especially for pulling on & off the much needed wetsuit. The rest of the day, eating, lounging, a little crying, drinking, puffing etc. Then Tom & I went to the lil bros work for dinner, which was fun watching him shmooze the ladies and he styled us out quite nicely. Afterward, a night cap and then we came home for some birthday booty. And it's all all over. I'm 33.

This morning my thumb is bruised, I'm a little hung, and I'm doing a workshop up in LA with Tim. The studio was gracious enough to get my 8am class subbed, I'd be hurting right now if I had to teach.

I got my new pose too from the second series, supta vajrasana...only like 30 poses left!!

Tuesday I roll on up to Davis to be a bad influence on Sasha, read some more LOTR to Joe, let Sam scowl at me, and snuggle Leroy Le Roi, the stinky kitty. Yeah!

Well helloooooo..............


Today is beautiful, a little dry, but really nice. Class was good, and I even made it to Tim's for practice. 35 people for 9 am mysore! Saw my teachers, my girls- minus the lovely Tiff, all the usual suspects. The full moon yesterday was in Gemini, and I feel simply divine. My moon is in Gemini and I think it felt that at last, we are all on the same wavelength.For now anyway!

Getting ready for the ol' bday. I'm planning to practice ,{must get cleaned out!} surf, and have a nice dinner with Tommy. Just us. No big, noisy, expensive debacle.

Next week I am bailing for a few days to hang with Sasha, who I hope will help me make my blog all pretty.

Wish me luck, I MAY get supta vajrasana this Thurs. Tim says bribes help as well. methinks cookies may be in order!

3 am confessions..............


I cannot f-ing sleep. Since turning off Seinfeld at 10 I have watched every hour pass. I am not going to make it to practice AGAIN and I am pissed.

What I have done:

tossed and turned- check
counted sheep {got to twelve} -check
worried, about my fish- my momma mollie has ick, if you're not a fish person this means little
about my boyfriend, his drinking, his business, if we ever break up will he take the dog etc.
about missing another practice, about tomorrow, about insomnia, about my 19 lb. 11 yr old cat- ALL CHECK
woke boyfriend up, got it hard, hopped on- check
blogged shit I may regret- CHECK!!!
gotten something to drink- check
smoked pot- NO, I'm out and the bf uses my Cheechish proclivity to validate his quest to become Capt. Morgan

I'm subbing @ 9am, if I could sleep I could get 5 hours.
HA!!

Up next, Reading Lord of the Rings....I'm at the last book and it's pretty f-ing exciting. Much better than the movies even tho those were great. Tom thinks its bizarre to reread a book that I also own the movies. What can I say....if you're a reader-you a reader.

Tom has come downstairs to find me typing, that's the problem w/ waking them{bf's} up for sex in the middle of the night, they're awake too... and is not happy with the content.

What fun is blogging if it doesn't piss someone off?

he says if we break up- he IS taking the dog, and perhaps I should worry about other things like him going crazy on rum and dismembering me with the new axe my mom bought.

worrying about being chopped up- CHECK!!

Okay Sasha......

Yeah, yeah...I haven't blogged, but I guess now i've been tagged, and I feel game.

I've been a bad lady at practice. I KNEW a month was too ambitious. I have been in enough rehab to know someone like me has got to take it ONE day at a time! I even missed my practice w/ Tim. Bed was far too cozy. I did hit up Itay and got some awesome adjustments. Why does it feel so good to have a big, strong man pushing you around? But Diana is back {farewell, Leigha Nicole! I didn't practice enough while you were here!} my birthday is near {33! If I make it through, I'll be doing better than Jesus!} and the year is ending. Does anyone else get a little toxic with all the retrospection? So what the plan is...tomorrow I'm going to practice. Nuff sed.

One of the beautiful things ashtanga has taught me is really, it's all just practice. No success or failure, you haven't NOT become what you'd hoped, you're still in your practice, trying to work it out according to the prakriti thats up, reality parameters, will, drive, patience, you can get better at ANYTHING if you continue to practice. Thats why we get the same issues, over and over. NEED MORE PRACTICE! The stuff you will always suck at is the the shit you push away or only give one attempt. To quote LOTR Sam Gamgee "The longest job is one that's never started, my Gaffer would say." From hanumanasana to brain surgery to love....

"Practice is the greatest teacher."-Aristotle

In other news.....

At the weird doctor, stuff is happening. I started actually breathing the way he asked. Because that's all he's said, just focus on your breathing, and people there go off! In through the nose, out through the mouth. This is difficult, bcs I tend to ujjayi breathe a lot and that is OUT the nose, so I finally gave up and let it go out the mouth, and while I watched the breath up & down the spine, my back really did start "waving" about. That fixed breath stimulated my muscles subtly enough that I actually started to get, I guess.."it". I am still not gonna groan, and flail about, today someone started belching and giggling, but I feel better, despite a minor head cold last weekend, no injuries, and it's all good.

Surfing..... YES. Thanksgiving was fun, waves, beers, dogs, buzzed volleyball, smores yahoo! And yesterday Brian and I went out and the cutest little seal was out poking his lettle wee-skers at me! Hee! Water was cold, f-ing cold. I could be there today but my bandhas crawl up at the memory of showering while peeling tight cold rubber off my shivering bod with frozen stubs for fingers.

Finally!!!

6 weird things about me...

and Sash, I don't know how to attach, and link and paste and crap. I am a sad, sorry technophobe hobnobbin with you fancy people out here in this techmological blogworld. But I will list for your amusement nonetheless:

I had a dream in the second grade about being kidnapped by a bald man who brought me into his world of espionage that I still remember vividly and think about. There was even sex, I wasn't 8 obviously, that wasn't far from the reality.

I was on a TV show called Liars with this reprobate named Miguel. We met at our mutual pot dealers and hatched this plot to get on the show where someone was a liar, one was the accuser, there was a celebrity panel, and a lie detector test. Since Miguel and I had just met, and I was 20, he 35 we made up a story about how we had made "sexy videos" with classical/artistic themes and I had seen one at a friends house and I accused him of "selling or showing the videos w/o my consent" For the record THESE WERE NEVER MADE. Miguel was truly toady, that's why it sold. Our celebrity panel was Gary Coleman, a Rabbi, and a sex therapist. Miguel was innocent {because the tapes never existed} and I was GRILLED hard by everyone being a presumed skanky whore, and we made $40 each. They offered me an extra $20 to slap him, but I was still a kid, and a squishy bunny and pussed out.

I spent time with a third degree witch when I was in my early 20's doing my "year and a day" which I never completed because everyone was on too many drugs to actually accomplish anything but scoring. I did feel, see, and hear some weird shit, but I was also pretty loaded.

I drink about 30 gallons of cranberry juice every year. I love it, it hits me right were I live, in the tart, rubyred pucker. My kidneys are maroon and finger snapping healthy. {Maybe, I also drink alot of beer!}

In the first grade my mom took me to the Metropolitan Museum in NY where I saw my first Greek and Roman art. She also bought me a little book on Greek Gods. At the age of seven I became a pagan, my patron deity, Athena. And although my spiritual side has evolved since then, I went to college as a classic major, was a sucker for Xena, and still wonder at the seeming greedy, selfish nature of the Gods. My current ishtadevata {bcs wouldn't ya know, i'd pick a career were the sadhana picks their personal god out of a bunch} is Ganesh. I need a lot of help. I got a lot of problems.

And SIX Yeah!!! My boyfriend thinks I should put "participation in this blog" as a weird thing to do... but I think I'll go with... last night I had a dream about Jack Black. We were sharing a house and I had a stalker crush on him, even tho I had a boyfriend in the dream{ I think it was Tom, but it was really all about Jack}. I spied on him as Jack had an affair with one of his students while giving a Yoga private in our front room, that was of course a yoga room. I was so jealous, and tried to lure him away from all his girls.

there that does it!

Be safe, drink water, be kind to each other and ....party on dudes!